Video Backlog: "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: Second Season"

Publisher: Bandai Entertainment (USA)
Format: Region 1 DVD, NTSC, Japanese Dialogue with optional English Dub and English Subtitles
Length: 14 Episodes x 24 mins
Production Date: 2009
Currently in Print (as of writing): Yes

Story Outline: This “second season” is actually part of a 2009 renewal of the show and contains episodes that were slotted into the existing 2006 TV series. The first episode has Mikuru transporting Kyon back two years to the incident of what could be the source of Haruri’s obsession with aliens, time travellers and ESPers. Along the way the older Mikuru and Nagato helping along the way. Then after Haruri forces everyone to join her on a gigantic “to do” list in the final two weeks of the summer holidays, it becomes apparent that have been repeating the same two weeks over and over again. It’s up to Kyon to break them out of this cycle and appease Haruri so she believes that she has done everything she wants to during summer. The final arc involves the creation of “The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00”. However Haruri’s ideas for the movie, such as talking cats and super powers, begin appearing in real life. They must find way to stop Haruri’s fantasies taking over reality.

Mini Review: Admittedly I wasn’t the biggest fan of the original series. Once you reveal the gimmick and play the show in chronological order, it’s not all that interesting, especially stuff like “Remote Island Syndrome” arc. However the show did really shine at a number of points and was pretty clever and pretty much succeeded in what it wanted to do. The big problem I had was the fact there was a number of elements in the show which referenced the novels (none released commercially in English at the time of the show’s US release) which were never explained in the TV series. Sorry, I’m not going to read a book so I can understand a TV show. If it’s not in the show, then that’s bad writing in my book and it alienates new people coming into the franchise who haven’t or have no desire to read the novels. Some of the little unexplained references are solved in this second season which is nice.

It’s odd, I kind of had more fun with this season than the first. I also didn’t mind the infamous “Endless Eight” episodes. Contrary to what I had heard, they aren’t the same episode over and over. The animation, clothes the characters wear, camera angles and a lot of other little changes are different every time. However as the time period in each episode covers a fortnight, a bit more variation could have been included in each episode. Towards the end of the arc I became a little annoyed as no progress was being made by Kyon. At least they could have shown him trying something different every time to end the time loop. The final arc about the making of the movie was fun, but Haruri just becomes more and more unpleasant in every episode, to the point of me wishing her dead. She really needs her arse kicked. That kind of spoiled the last arc for me. Comparing Bandai’s massive special edition of the first season with its additional discs in TV broadcast order, bonus CDs, cosplay items and an intricate chipboard box, with what we got for the second season is amusing. It’s just one cheap looking five disc collection pack with a bonus two track CD. Oh, how the US industry has fallen in such a short time. I was quite surprised with this show. It’s a lot better than people have been saying. 7.5 out of 10.

Remaining Backlog: 17 months (it's much easier this way than listing the number of discs).

Video Backlog: "Moonlight Mile"

Publisher: ADV Films (USA)
Format: Region 1 DVD, NTSC, Japanese Dialogue with optional English Dub and English Subtitles
Length: 12 Episodes x 24 mins
Production Date: 2007
Currently in Print (as of writing): Yes (Funimation re-release)

Story Outline: Mountain climbing buddies Gorou Saruwatari and Jack "Lostman" Woodbridge finally achieve their goal of climbing Mount Everest. There on that clear day, they witness the International Space Agency’s orbiting space station passing overhead. Then and there they decide to become astronauts. Lostman goes back to his job of being a US Navy pilot, but almost doesn’t make it due to second Gulf war. Goro takes a different approach and becomes a construction worker, gaining licences for a multitude of related machinery. Both are soon on their way into space, however on very different paths.

Mini Review: Seriously, why don’t they just call this show “Astronauts who like to Root”? I believe this show is from a seinen comic anthology, and it shows. All those bored salarymen who want to escape their dull corporate and family life, huh? Dreaming of being an astronaut and buggering everything with a vagina, huh? This stuff is quite common in comics for that demographic, but I got damned sick of it. In the end I was like “Oh Christ, he’s fucking her too!”. I can’t recall any woman in the show not being boned by either one of the leads. Sure the sex scenes are really very short (10 seconds or less at times) and weren’t usually gratuitous, it was distracting and didn’t add to the plot (other than showing the two leads are sex maniacs). While the sexual conquest stuff wasn’t my thing, I was loving the space drama. Surprisingly it’s treated fairly realistic. However there are some elements which didn’t ring true, especially with equipment failures and spacecraft used. Judging from comments made by one astronauts, this show is supposed to be set in the 2020’s or so, but then the second Gulf war is mentioned. It was a bit confusing as to what the actual time period was. I couldn’t help but dislike both leads. Goro is an overconfident Japanese bogan who roots anything he can lay his paws on. Lostman is also an overconfident jerk, but even more so than Goro. There isn’t much here at all which makes him the tiniest bit likable. One of the things ADV didn’t translate fully was the title card which in part says “1st Season”. So not only does this show end abruptly, the very first scene of the first episode makes no bloody sense when viewing all three DVDs. I really can’t see Funimation releasing the second half of this. Bit of a shame really. However the hard sci-fi seems to have been dumped for more fantastical elements. 6.5 out of 10.

Remaining Backlog: 17 months (it's much easier this way than listing the number of discs).

Video Backlog: "Glass Fleet"

Publisher: Funimation (USA)
Format: Region 1 DVD, NTSC, Japanese Dialogue with optional English Dub and English Subtitles
Length: 26 Episodes x 24 mins
Production Date: 2006
Currently in Print (as of writing): Yes

Story Outline: The start of a war begins in a far flung galaxy where Holy Emperor Vetti Lunard Sforza de Roselait has to fight off the People's Army, led by a noble named Michel Volban de Cabelle. However the People’s Army are no match for the Holy Imperial Army. A saviour comes in the disguise of a space pirate called Cleo. He and his ship which bears the crest of the old Royal Family attacks and forcibly takes control of Michel’s ship. An uneasy partnership begins and Cleo reluctantly joins the People’s Army to fight against the oppressors in his nearly undefeatable glass-like battleship. But both Cleo and Vetti unwittingly share a common bond.

Mini Review: There are a lot of great ideas in this show and the plot is quite good. The big problem is the execution. First I think the show does take a while to reach full speed. Once it does it’s a decent ride, but then falters. Some of the characters are bit clichéd (did we really need the maid?) and some have annoying catchphrases and traits which get really old fast. The animation quality also takes a massive dip mid-way through. Lots of really off model animation. I note that a fair wack of the animators are Chinese. Not saying they're bad, but even the Korean animators are top notch and beat the Japanese at their game now days (OK, maybe I am saying Chinese animators are crap...). The designs are pretty good, though the inconstancies in technology really got up my nose. Shoji Kawamori and Kazutaka Miyatake were the mecha designers, and they have produced some quite good work here. Summing up, yeah it’s like “Rose of Versailles” and “Legend of Galactic Heroes” mashed together, but nowhere as good as either show. Mediocre with flashes of greatness occasionally. 6 out of 10.

Remaining Backlog: 17 months (it's much easier this way than listing the number of discs).

How to make a Key/Kyoto Animation show

I have just finished “Clannad: After Story”. Look, I really, really tried to give this, Air and Kanon a fair hearing, but in the end I couldn’t. I love stuff like "To Heart" and other slice of life shows, but I just think these Key/Kyoto Animation shows are so poorly written and conform to the same basic plot elements every time (the artwork is lovely though). You could probably make you own anime using the basic plot elements of all three shows;

1). Setting must be a small quiet town
First and foremost, you have a dull but pretty looking setting. A small Japanese town, but big enough to have a high school and hospital. And maybe a family restaurant, where the waitresses wear maid-like uniforms.

2). Must have sarcastic male lead
Very, very important. Must be a bit of a no-hoper, maybe down on his luck, but no loser. Must be sarcastic as hell, but friendly to ALL women. Tragic and/or difficult background a bonus. Must not have a girlfriend, but must be quite good looking.

3). Must have lead infantile girl with annoying catchphrases
Extremely important. In fact the key (no pun intended) to the show. This character is central to the plot of the show. The character must be non-threatening, cute, small, girly, grossly infantile compared to her actual age and in constant need of help. From our sarcastic male lead. Most important of all is that stupid catchphrases and annoying traits can be used in lieu of any character development.

4). Lots of troubled girls who need help from a special boy (i.e. sarcastic male lead)
Another very important element. Just like the overdone harem genre, there must be a core number of females, each with their own distinct personality and idiosyncrasies who interact with sarcastic male lead on a daily basis. Just like infantile girl with annoying catchphrases, troubled girls can have stupid catchphrases and annoying traits that can be used in lieu of any character development. It is quite important to try to make most of the troubled girls as non-threatening as possible. Even the ones which appear to be threating are in fact sweetness and light underneath. Most importantly troubled girls must have deep dark psychological problems that only sarcastic male lead can help with. sarcastic male lead will go to any length to help, but usually will not become romantically linked with any of the troubled girls.

5). Mysterious illnesses
Usually this is coupled with infantile girl with annoying catchphrases. In NO circumstances must the audience know what this illness is. Parent or carer of child with mysterious illness must never be seen to make any real attempt to get medical treatment for the child, nor place them in hospital. In all cases it is important that no one inside or outside the family makes any suggestion that the sick child in question gets any medical treatment regardless of how much the child suffers or how close to death the child is.

6). The forgotten past
This is usually the sarcastic male lead’s domain. The rule here is that sarcastic male lead must have forgotten memories of usually a traumatic nature involving one or several of the troubled girls, but not necessarily infantile girl with annoying catchphrases. However many people, mostly adults, will have full knowledge of what happened to sarcastic male lead and will go to extreme lengths to hide this from him. Even when it is blatantly clear that sarcastic male lead is suffering and the pain could be stopped by telling him about his forgotten past, everyone will refuse to tell him.

7). Supernatural occurrences
Another important element. In almost all cases this involves sarcastic male lead and infantile girl with annoying catchphrases, but also one or several plot threads including at least one troubled girl. Supernatural occurrences can have no hint of malice whatsoever. The supernatural occurrences can be as illogical and stupid as possible and are often tied into sarcastic male lead’s forgotten past.

8). Characters who make stupid, illogical decisions
Regardless of then offers of help, and the wide range of family, friends and others who can provide assistance, characters must always pick the outcome that delivers the most tragic circumstances. For example if sarcastic male lead requires money to look after a sick person, they must proudly refuse this money as well as any offers of help. Usually tragedy is the outcome, even when it is blatantly obvious to sarcastic male lead that he is in dire need of help.

9). Relationships must be oddly platonic with no hints of fan service or S-E-X
Despite the fact these shows are marketed to, specifically created for and watched by young males, there will never, ever be any gratuitous panty or breast shots. The show will just about be sanitised of all fanservice. Despite the relationships developed the show, there will be (almost) absolutely no direct references to sexual intercourse of any kind. It always important to make sarcastic male lead as seemingly uninterested in sex as possible (even if his best male friend is a complete pervert). In fact make it look like he has interest in women only as friends, despite the fact he is a heterosexual teenage boy with raging hormones. Even if sarcastic male lead does have a relationship with a woman, only kissing can be shown on the very, very rare occasion. But it must be sweet innocent stuff, none of that French kissing stuff. Depict the sexual relationships in the show as if you were making for an ultra-conservative Christian TV network.

Add in tons of merchandise, and you have a sure fire hit. God, I really don't get these shows... Honestly I didn't mind the first series of Clannad. That was an alright show.